You may want friendship, but what kind of friend would you make? Factors to consider include:
- Attitudes to others - we can drive potential friends away by demanding they share our attitudes, beliefs or behaviours. If you accept that other people have a right to be different from you, then you open yourself up to the possibility of experiencing relationships that bring a fresh perspective to your life.
- Treatment of other people - think about how you like to be treated, then offer the same to the people in your life.
- Don't expect instant results - good friends aren't made overnight. Sharing your deepest secrets in one night won't necessarily create a close friendship. It may even drive the other person away. Take it slowly. Divulge 'safe' secrets first, and allow the relationship to hold some weight before you share the meatier issues in your life.
- Curb the urge to criticise - constantly griping about the failures and weaknesses of other people can make your listener feel wary of you. How do they know you aren't complaining about their flaws to other friends?
- Don't gossip - potential friends aren't going to trust you if you constantly gossip to them about the trials and tribulations of other people in your life.
- Don't compromise yourself - each one of us has standards of morality and behaviour. Don't allow yourself to compromise yourself for the sake of 'fitting in' with a group.
Make Friends In A New City
People say that you cannot choose your relatives, but you can certainly choose your friends. However, life has different plans for everybody and more often than not due to various circumstances people are forced to leave their comfort zone, they friends and family behind and move to another city or country to start life anew.
Join a local organization, or take a class. Taking a class is a great way to meet people who posses similar interests as yours. Consider taking up a totally new sport or learn something you’ve always wanted to know. Join a local club, volunteer organization, or a church. It always fun meeting people whose hearts beat for a mutual cause. People in these communities share the same interests as you and probably live in the same area.
Network with people you already know
Co-workers, fellow neighbors, the coffee shop guy who always serves you your morning latte, let people know you are new to the area and would like some advice about the best place in town to watch theater, play golf, or go shopping. People are generally friendly and willing to help, you just have to ask.
The net is your best friend
(But resist the urge to be reclusive; otherwise that will defeat the purpose.) Since you are limited on your human resources, there are excellent web sites like Yelp! and Craigslist that provide a wealth of info helpful for people new in town. Yelp.com provides reviews and blogs about what’s great – and not so great – in your neighborhood and beyond, everything from cool restaurants and clubs to doctors and yoga instructors. Craigslist is a great website for classified ads for furniture, employment, rental listings and events. Meetup is a site that helps local people get together to hang, share a few drinks or try a new activity. You can use these sites to your advantage when deciding about whether to try a new place to eat, hang, or socialize.
Keep an open mind
Get outside your comfort zone. Keep a smile on your face and don’t be afraid to approach people. Don’t only approach or talk to people who look like you (or your best friend back home). Part of living in a new city is experiencing new cultures. Don’t miss out on great friendships because of pre-conceived notions, your next set of best buds could be older, younger, or of a different sex than you!
Bottom line, use every social opportunity to your advantage, ask questions, be personable and keep smiling! Maintaining a work life balance is important especially when moving to a new city. Finding new friends may be challenging but by putting yourself in various social
settings it will become easier.
Make Friends In College
How to Make Friends at College. College is a time when people actively seek out new relationships. Unless you live in a box, making friends should not be a problem. Still, it requires effort and a willingness to extend yourself at times, particularly in what is many people's first venture away from home. Follow these few steps to help you become more social and gain pals at your home for the next few years.
- Be loquacious, gregarious, chatty, talkative, friendly, outgoing, amiable, congenial, neighborly, sociable, approachable, easygoing and otherwise chummy.
- Introduce yourself to those in your dorm and class.
- Show up early for orientation.
- Attend parties, sports events and special gatherings where people socialize.
- Remain open to new cultures, ideas and values.
- Invite people to join you for a bite to eat and a drink.
- Offer to give people a ride somewhere.
- Study in groups.
- Reach out to others when they need help.
- Join a student group or sports team.
- Explore the Greek system.
- Throw a party.